so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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