help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
