I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize