Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
