its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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