my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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