I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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