my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize