she woke up with a sticky ear
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
