Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
