I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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