i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
