Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
