i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
