K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
4 words: hood of his car
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize