Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
