Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
