So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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