I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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