thus making me awesome and them whores
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize