I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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