Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
