mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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