i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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