Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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