Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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