some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
