I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
