Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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