I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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