when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
