My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
