I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
