Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
