i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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