I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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