I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
