i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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