Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
