i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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