I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
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I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
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Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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