nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
