No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
