Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
