i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
