the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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