i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
my liver is dry heaving
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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