I'm going to jail i love you
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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