I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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