Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Couch. On fire.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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