No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
