More tranny stories later!
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
