White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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