I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
