I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
