It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
