wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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