we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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